"This isnt a project that you will be able to do the night before"
yaaaaas santa you look so good santa
being the last person still laughing too much at a joke is a very big problem in my life
some people are winning olympic medals right now and i can’t get out of bed
imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves
dont u dare treat ur animals like shit in front of me i will end ur life son
"we’re having mcdonalds for dinner"
"i made cookies"
"i did your laundry for you"
"we’re going out you’ll be home alone for a few hours"